It’s the morning of Abel’s 16th birthday, and he wakes up before the sun. which is normally uncharacteristic for someone his age, but for Abel, he’s never been able to sleep well. The insomnia and violent nightmares kept him awake more often than he wanted.

He’s learned how to deal with it pretty well, and his calm demeanor helps him navigate the waters as the tides roll in. He doesn’t fully understand it, but he’s more like his father than anyone around cared to admit.

Walking from his bedroom, Abel slides his fingertips along the wall in the hallway. He hums one of his favorite songs, singing the lyrics in his head so he doesn’t wake anyone else up.

“Let me live long enough to take back the time I’ve wasted / Let me do the things that I was meant to do / Let me fill myself on the things in life up to now I’ve only tasted / For once to my heart let me be true”

Making his way into the kitchen, he finds Wendy already up and cooking breakfast.

“Good morning, Wendy” Abel said in a quiet tone, careful not to wake up Thomas, who’s bedroom was just on the other side of kitchen.

“Happy Birthday sweetheart” Wendy replied, briefly looking up from the batter of pancakes she was pouring into the frying pan.

“Did you sleep OK?” she asked, a sense of sadness in her voice that Abel knew too well.

“Better than some nights, worse than others” Abel responded, assuring her that he’s OK. He’s just happy to have someone awake that he can talk to.

Abel spends a lot of his time after school sitting in the back yard, alone and in deep thought. Wendy started noticing it around the time he turned 10. He finds a quiet place close to the garden, grabs a piece of fruit and stares off into space.

She asked him once what he would think about while he was out there and he quickly changed the subject. From that point on, Wendy knew it was only a matter of time before he set out to find the truth.

His 16th birthday was no different. After a short conversation, birthday hug and a stack of pancakes covered in butter and syrup, he retreated to his room. Emerging a few moments later with a notebook, pen, and headphones, he headed to the back yard.

Wendy knew what he was doing. Regardless if Abel understood or not, Wendy knew. He was Jax made over, from his looks to the way he walked. Every day he reminded her of Jax, and even though it hurt to remember, she enjoyed it because it felt like a part of Jax was with her still.

She never stopped loving him. Even through all the turmoil they went through together, Wendy always kept a special place in her heart for Jax, right next to her sons’.

“What are you staring at Wendy?”, Nero said as he walked up behind her. Placing his hand on her shoulder, he stares out the window overlooking the back yard.

“He’s going to break soon, I can feel it” she replied.

“Why would you say that, mama? He seems fine to me.” Nero quietly responded, a look of confusion coming over his face.

“Abel is Jax, and Jax was John. It’s only a matter of time before he travels the same path, no matter how god damn much I don’t want it to happen”, Wendy said, slamming her hand down on the counter.

The loud noise jolted through the house, making its way into Thomas’ room and startling him from his sleep. It was now 6:46am and the sun was starting to stream in through the partially opened blinds covering his bedroom window. The beams of light caused Thomas to squint his eyes, rubbing the sleep from them as he gathered his thoughts.

Throwing his blanket to his feet, he slid out of bed and made his way out of his room to see who was making such a ruckus.

When Thomas made it into the kitchen, he seen Wendy and immediately realized she was the reason he was awake so early. A feeling of frustration fell over him and he rolled his eyes walking right past Wendy without even a simple hello.

“Well, good morning to you too, Thomas” Wendy muttered under her breath, rolling her eyes in a similar fashion.

No matter how much she wanted to be Thomas’ mother, she could never find it in her heart to love Thomas like she does Abel. Filling Tara’s shoes seemed like too much for Wendy, and when Thomas was about six, she sort of checked out emotionally.

Thomas made his way out the back door to go give his big brother a birthday beating, something the two of them started on Thomas’ 10th birthday. The punches werent anything too serious, just enough to make you remember you were alive.

Today, Thomas was able to sneak up behind Abel without making a sound. I guess it also helps that Abel’s nose was buried in his notebook, writing down his thoughts as they flowed through the pen effortlessly.

*whack*

Abel jumped up, the stinging of a solid left hook instantly reddening his arm. Just like that, the chase was on.

Darting through the back yard and jumping over the fence at the end of the property line, Abel gained a bit of distance on his younger, and slightly slower brother.

But Thomas was never one to give up easily. Especially with the scar on his left cheek from his birthday surprise that Abel gave him while he was still in bed sleeping.

“You can’t run forever Abel” Thomas yelled. “Those cigarettes you smoke every day aren’t going to help either” he said, trying not to waste too much of his own breath.

Abel made his way around the side of their neighbors barn, ducking down behind a small stack of hay. Wedging himself next to an old rusty green tractor parked next to the hay, he gasped for air.

“Aww, come out big brother, or are you scared?” Thomas teased, still unsure what direction his brother went after he lost sight of him around the barn. “Or do we need to make a bed for you in the coop with the rest of the chickens?”, he said, taunting his brother in hopes he would reveal his hiding place.

Darting out from behind the hay, Abel ran straight for Thomas, who got into a fighting stance and prepared himself for impact.

As the two of them collided, the sound of their bodies echoed across the open field and hung in the crisp morning air. Thomas crashed to the floor, his older brother covering him as they rolled through the dew soaked grass.

A flood of obscenities came from the rolling wreckage as each boy tried to overpower the other.

“Stop scratching me you pussy” Abel yelled as he pushed Thomas’ body to the left, jumping up off the ground.

“You’re the little bitch who took off running, mother fucker” Thomas retorted, getting to his feet and dusting himself off. Each boy gasped for air, tired from all the running.

“Stand there like a man and take the birthday ass whopping so we can go inside and you can open your gifts” he said, watching as Abel tried his best to look tough.

“Fine, but try not to break a nail in the process pretty boy” Abel snapped, eager to get the sixteen punches and move on with the day. After all, it was his sixteenth birthday and he had plans.

Thomas unloaded a shot to the ribs that caused Abel to double over in pain. He may be younger, but Abel taught him well, and farm life made him stronger than most boys his age.

The rest of the punches happened so fast, Abel barely had time to count them. When all was said and done, his body was covered in fist prints and his bottom lip was bleeding, the taste of blood filling his mouth.

“Thanks a lot asshole” he said, shoving Thomas as he let out a smirk, signaling to Thomas that he had done well.

Abel knew Wendy treated them different and he made it his life purpose to protect his younger brother and toughen him up in the process.

The bruises he would have for the next week was proof that he was doing a good job.
Walking back to the house, Thomas asked Abel a question that he had been wondering for weeks.

“What are you going to wish for this year when you blow out your candles?”

Abel stopped walking, turned to his brother and said “I am going to wish that my brother would stop asking so many questions”. He chuckled and gave Thomas a playful shove in the shoulder.

“Seriously Abel, are you asking for the motorcycle from that poster on your wall?” Thomas asked. “We all know you’ve been saving your money for years to buy it. That’s what your asking for isn’t it Abel?”

“Sure, I will let you think it if it makes you feel better bro” Abel responded, still trying to avoid the question.

He knew what he was going to ask for, and it wasn’t going to be the bike. Abel wanted the truth, about what happened to his father and why the last time he seen him at the garage, he looked so sad.

Even though he was young, he remembered a lot. He remembers his grandmother killed his first mommy. He remembers she also was the one to give him the SON ring he wore every day until it no longer fit on his finger.

As he played with the ring in his pocket, he remembers seeing his dad for the last time, hugging him and seeing how upset he looked as they drove off.

Today, his sixteenth birthday, would be the day he put in his formal request with Nero and Wendy to get the whole truth. In Abel’s eyes he was a man now and it was only fair for them to treat him like one.

As Thomas and Abel made it back over the fence into their yard, Thomas stopped his brother, wrapped his arms around him in a loving embrace and whispered in his ear.

“I hope whatever it is you’re looking for, you find it brother”.

Thomas kissed Abel’s cheek, and walked inside. Abel stopped to admire how strong his little brother was, both physically and mentally, as he picked up his notebook and headed for the back door.

Silently he walked inside, throwing a glance over to Nero and motioned him to follow into the living room.

It was time to sit down like men and have a conversation.

Continue to Chapter 2